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You could be a teenybopper if.....

You think rockers/rappers are depressed, drugged-up people who have no lives because they cuss in their records.

You bought the Britney/Christina doll for reasons other that voodoo.

You actually watch the top 4 videos on TRL

You believe that Britney had a miracilous "growth spurt"

You think you'll marry a boy band member

You went to a boy bands' or the teeny female singers' concerts

You refuse to accept the fact that Justin and Britney are an item

You read teenybopper fashion magazines religiously like a bible

You think Mariah Carey is the best singer to ever walk the face of this earth

Your wardrobe from the waist down consists of bellbottoms

You think Gothic people are evil

You refer to the teeny artists as your "gods" and "goddesses"

You're the one surfin' MTV.com for six hours, voting for your favorite teeny artist

You think Britney Spears is extremely talented just because she co-wrote one song on her sophomore album

You're sending threatening letters to Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson telling them to "stay off your man (insert name here"

You're thrilled about the Spice Girls' comeback

Your bedroom wall is not visible because of boy band posters

Your makeup consists of only pastels

You think that black metal is satanic music

The words "like" and "you know" are dominant in your vocabulary

You take every word a rapper says literally




If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you're an idiot. Now, read below for info, on how to cure your "teenybopper syndrome"

Just like alcoholics and junkies go to rehab centers to get rid of their problem, you can too. Just follow these steps below. Have faith and good luck to you.

Instead of watching TRL all the way, change the channel as soon as the #5 video ends. You have great choices, like BET, and Vh1.

If you get the urge to splurge on a magazine such as "Teen", "YM" or "Twist", start saving your money for something such as clothes and shoes. You'll look good.


Go one day without playing their CD, or even mentioning a teeny group/singer. Then try doin' it for two days, then three, then four, then five.....

Steer clear of places that may have "teenybopper triggers" (i.e , teeny concerts, newsstands, etc.)

Hang out with someone who can't stand those groups/singers. Think of them as your "guidence councelor" or "therapist"

Go to a rock/hip-hop concert and even join the moshpit(optional). You'll see the better side of life

Start reading magazines such as Spin, Rolling Stone, The Source, and Vibe. They have articles on real life issues, not ones like, "get him to worship you" and shit.

Buy a hip hop/rock CD and listen to it every day. Make sure to listen to the lyrics carefully, you'll see that they do have lives, and good, real ones.



Someday you'll thank me.